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Domestic Violence – Those Who Do The Punching Are Those Who Have Problems

24 Feb

Domestic violence

Today I read an online article about a housewife who was constantly beaten up by her own husband, just because she failed to “serve” her husband the way he wanted her to. According to this housewife, ever since they got married in 2000, her husband demanded that he should be treated like a king every day. If his wishes are not granted, the consequences were heavy. In the article I read, the wife experienced heavy beating for 12 hours.

Domestic violence happens everywhere, and happens a lot more than we think. From my point of view, this woman’s husband has an “illness” that is difficult to cure… maybe extreme narcissism. Over the top narcissism – maybe because he has problems himself. Maybe during his childhood, he didn’t receive enough attention, therefore when he stepped into adulthood, he demanded overwhelming attention… just maybe… However, a husband who beats up his wife constantly like that, especially the ones who demand to be treated like a king definitely have some sort of mental/psychological disorder. Maybe when he was younger, he was also abused.

What I’ve been trying to convey is.. people who hurt other people like that want to bring down other people in order to feel better about themselves – when in truth, all humans are the same in the eyes of God. Would the husband be happy if was in his wife’s shoes? Do you think he’d be happy? Couples are supposed to love each other, if one beats the other one up, where is the love here?

Domestic violence can also happen between parent to child. Many kids have been brought up roughly – too roughly. Some experience sexual abuse, some get beaten up, and some receive verbal abuse. Parents need to understand the consequences of their actions, it will affect their childrens personalities in the future.

Those who are experiencing domestic violence.. get some help, find someone to talk to. You are not alone. To those who are abusive and violent – I believe in karma, and later on in your life, you will be feeling an even more painful “punch” in return. Go fix yourself. Ask yourself – Would I want to be treated that way?

Treat people the way you want to be treated.


Reference: The Jakarta Globe: Abused Wife Beaten for 12 Hours for Failing to Serve Husband Drink.


Housemaids Are Humans Too You Know…

8 Jan

They're human too, you know..

Often I walk into my friend’s houses and observe the way they speak to their housemaids. Some are very nice and polite to them, and there are some who are rude, bossy and aren’t very nice to them. Some people I know (who I thought are nice people) talk to their housemaids like they have no feelings!

It’s even worse when housemaids get violently treated. Their bosses can be prosecuted and be put in jail because they have gone against the human rights law. Even speaking crudely, humiliating them and other verbal abuse is supposed to be illegal. It affects the housemaids mentally or psychologically. One of the housemaids in my house used to shake and tremble when my mother called her, so my mother told her to calm down. However, she then told her that she used to be violently abused as a child, both by her own stepparents and her former boss. Her life was so hard, but now she’s much happier working in our household.

Housemaids, like all of us, are human beings too. They have feelings, they run out of energy, they can feel hurt, they can feel physical pain, they can feel tired, they also need enough rest and food. Talk to them like you would talk to your own friends, there’s nothing wrong with telling them stories, or joking them. Even though in human’s eyes they are in a different ‘status’ to us, in God’s eyes we are all the same.


There Are No Jobs For Us In This Country!

3 Jan

Indonesian Labourers

We often hear about how Indonesian workers get treated when they work overseas. Those who work mainly as labourers or housemaids have been violently beaten up, some have died, and some have even committed suicide. The weird thing is, they suffer most when they work in countries or households where they claim as being Muslims. All I know is in the Al-Qur’an, we weren’t taught to hurt one another, to seize work wages, and to sexually assault someone. What kind of Islam do they practice?

On the other hand, the Indonesian Government hasn’t really been great at protecting Indonesian labourers overseas either. The Indonesian labourers who received help from the Government (and usually it’s too late anyway), are those who have successfully been exposed in the media. The laws that were written to organise the Placement and Protection of Indonesian Migrant Workers (no. 39, written in year 2004), has 109 articles, but only 8 articles are about the protection of Indonesian Migrant Workers. Protection is clearly not the first priority. We should value our ‘foreign exchange heroes’. Where are their human rights?

The existence of Indonesian Migrant Workers is the evidence that the Indonesian Government have failed in a couple of things. The first thing, they have failed to create enough employment in the country for the people. They have also failed to make education more accessible for people from all economic backgrounds, because education helps to get jobs. I hope in 2011, the treatments of Indonesian labourers will be better, and the laws for their protection will be improved.