Tag Archives: personality

Learn How to Appreciate Your Friends if You Want Your Friendships to Last

5 Jan

I don't like that person...

Since I was young, I have a lot of friends. There are some who are still friends with me, some I haven’t met in a long time, and there are some who I don’t speak to on purpose. From all of my friendship experiences, I’ve made the conclusion that if you want your friendships to last, we have to able to appreciate the differences between each other. We can’t just judge others. This is an art that I am still learning.

Everyone was given their own brain, so everyone’s thoughts and point of views are different. Our emotions are also different, and the ability of each humans to handle problems are also different. We all have to remember that everyone has a different journey in life, and different experiences which made them who they are today. Each person have their own personalities, and if you can’t appreciate someone’s personality, it’s better not to be friends with them, or at least stop talking to them so often.

To give an opinion to your friend is allowed, sometimes it may help our friend when he/she is having a problem. But when your friend cannot accept your opinion, don’t force it, don’t get all emotional, don’t act like you know it all, because they probably know what’s best for themselves too. Even though if they don’t know what’s best for them, we can still support them. Everyone has their own journey. If it’s none of your business, then don’t get involved. Don’t underestimate your friend too, if they are weak in some things, they may be strong in some other things too.

I have a friend, her name is Elise. Elise and I went to art school together, and there was also a time when we lived in a shared house together. I’m sure I annoyed her sometimes. I always demanded my friends to be on time to every event, and Elise is not that kind of person who likes to be on time. We have different opinions on a lot of things. But Elise always appreciated me, she respected my opinions and never underestimated me. Now I really miss her because we haven’t met in years and we live in separate countries. But I’m sure we’ll meet again someday.

Until today, I’m still learning how to appreciate my friends. If we can’t appreciate our friends, then we’re going to run out of them! We can’t just decide that he’s annoying, she’s annoying, they’re annoying. Open your eyes and learn how to see the positive side of everyone.



The Word ‘Narcissist’ is So Overused in Indonesia..

5 Jan

You're such a narcissist!

In Indonesia, the word ‘narcissist’ is overused. People here tease each other constantly with that word, even though in the past, the word ‘narcissist’ was not as easily used as it is now, and seen as something much more serious. Because people overuse the word, the meaning is gone, and the judgment of what a ‘narcissist’ is, is different to what it used to be.

What is a narcissist?

If someone is a narcissist, it means that they are sooo in love with themselves, they are too proud, and they admire themselves too much.

Where did the word ‘narcissist’ come from?

The word ‘narcissist’ came from Greek Mythology. A character named Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection in the water.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is when a person loves him/herself too much. They have a big sense of self-admiration, self-absorption, and very self-centred. They usually can’t see the effect that they are putting on other people. These people are highly arrogant, too confident and too self-assured. They always demand to be seen as the superior person. However, someone can be judged as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder when their behaviours are persistent and when they start disadvantaging other people. People who suffer from NPD usually experienced a bad childhood. Their parents neglected them, and did not value them. This causes the child to feel undervalued and have a low sense of self worth. The child grows up into a person who wants to cover up their sense of worth, so they create this whole new personality, demands people to love, respect, admire them, put them up in a pedestal. The effect is the complete opposite of what they experienced as a child.

A long time ago, before the word ‘narcissistic’ became a trend in Indonesia, the word ‘narcissistic’ was only be used for people who suffer NPD, or close to suffering NPD. Nowadays, almost everyone on Facebook is judged as being narcissistic.

What kind of traits are seen as ‘narcissistic’ traits nowadays?

1. Taking lots pictures of themselves constantly, and posting them all onto the internet. Or, displaying only photographs of themselves in their house/room.

2. Writing notes/statuses only about themselves.

3. Praising themselves constantly. “I’m so cute”, “I am the coolest of them all”, “If it wasn’t because of me, they wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

The word ‘narcissist’ is ssooooo overused. Even when someone takes a picture of themselves with a mobile phone, people would call it ‘narcissistic photo’. A long time ago, to tell someone that he/she is a narcissist, people would think a lot more and it wasn’t an easy thing to do. It was a tougher judgment. Only lately, the word is so commonly said because it’s a ‘trend’.

There’s nothing wrong with loving yourself, it’s actually important to love yourself. But when you admire yourself too much, then there’s definitely something wrong. Especially when you disadvantage other people because of it. I guess writing a status about yourself all the time on Facebook is not a narcissistic thing to do, unless the status is always about how awesome you are, putting sentences of self-pride and admiration all the time.. now that’s different. A real narcissist annoys other people.

If you would like to read more about narcissism, please click here.